Well I did a review on the original game, didn’t care for it at the time. I has grown on me a little since then, not a lot, but at least I don’t actively hate it. The Zombie Army is a zombie themed spin off of the Sniper Elite series, a series that I absolutely love to bits. In this you play as one of four playable characters: Karl the American sniper from the Sniper Elite games, Jun a beautiful Chinese diplomat, Boris the big Russian ex-con bruiser, and Shola the gorgeous Nigerian Brit Mechanic, at least these are the starting characters for the main game. They’re taking down the ever growing zombie horde that Nazi’s rose as they and the Third Reich fell. In season pass three, you are continuing the story post game, and post season pass one and two and they all work to tell this story in bite size segments, this like every season pass has three pieces of short one mission story DLC which have a varying amount of levels within.
In Terminals, the seventh mission and first piece of story for this DLC pack, you and your group, if you play with others, go to the Italian coast because there’s a weird transmission coming out of this giant base, its your job to figure out what it is, and make it fuck off cause it’s still some Nazi bullshit. The average mission length in the standard game is four levels per mission only two missions have less, the first mission which is more to teach you the game has three levels, and the last mission which is a giant multipart boss fight is one level that takes an incredibly long time. This mission has a big ol’ amazing ONE, yes you heard me, one level in this mission, you’ll notice my annoyance of this as the review continues I promise. Now the level is large, and made in a way to have you lose your way in it, so that it takes longer than it really should to do anything to make it FEEL like the level is long. The level can be completed in under an hour, though it’s made in a way to try and get you a bit lost if you’re looking for collectibles and the like. It’s a decent length for a mission, often most levels in missions take half an hour or so, as such this is maybe the length of two levels, so half a normal mission.
The big issue comes in the fact that after you finish damn near every objective in this mission you have to kill a wave or so of enemies in a horde event. Now before you say, “And what’s wrong with that?” It’s pretty simple, in the game, the standard game, you have three things you can choose from. Challenge mode which gives you something if you beat it, and it’s just the other two modes with some sort of restriction for that week. Story mode which gives you the story of the game. The last mode is, dun dun duuuuuuuuun, Horde mode which is a fucking horde mode. Maybe you can see my annoyance with this level being almost entirely a horde mode story mission. If you can’t understand, let me explain, if I wanted to play horde mode, I wouldn’t play the story, I’d play fucking Horde, because that is literally what it’s there for. I play story mode for story not horde bullshit. And horde mode gets updated with a new map or two every time a season pass comes out. So Horde people are getting more horde out of this already. But us story people are just getting fucked. After every object we’re told okay now you’re playing horde mode for a bit, just so we can pad the amount of time you play the DLC. If you took all this horde shit out, the mission would take maybe twenty five or thirty minutes to beat, at absolute most. This was purely to pad out the time and I hate it. It does however end in a little boss battle against a occult energy infused computer that you have to destroy, which was pretty damn fun, the absolute best part of the entire mission.
In the mission eight, Abaddon Asylum, you head to a castle and the surrounding village, the castle seems to have held an asylum in it. You’ve learned that the Baron here is some evil mastermind of all the current zombies after you’ve killed Hitler in the main game, so now this Baron gots ta go. His name is Baron Umbra and he’s a dick. This mission is an almighty TWO levels long guys, woohoo, exciting. The first level takes place at castle and surrounding area, as you’re trying to find your way in. In the end you find you have to blow up some evil mojo statues to get into the gate. Only problem, you have all these frag grenades, all these TNT boxes you, as a human, should be able to pick up carry over to the statue, move away and shoot it with a gun to blow the fucker sky high. Nope, you have to find basically C4 plant it, and then set off a timed charge, even though you can straight up shoot C4 in the main game and blow it to Hell immediately, or throw another grenade near it to do the same. But no, not here, wanna know why? Cause after you start this for every single one of the objectives which are to blow each one of these fucking statues to Hell where they belong, it decides to make it a timed survival horde mode. Because again, story is where horde mode belongs instead of in fucking Horde mode which is literally named after the fucking thing. Anyone feeling my annoyance yet? I am. After you finally blow this shit to Hell, you then have a small level afterwards that ends with you somehow helping the Baron so you can get into Hell to save an old friend who get trapped in it in the main game. So… that’s cool. And this little level was a standard ass level, good ol’ fashioned goodness, really short, but a step in the right fucking direction.
The last mission of this DLC, mission nine, is Return to Hell, and guess what, you and the Baron are now in Hell, because well that’s where your friend is. Now the Baron is helping you free your friend, while everyone outside of Hell is making damn sure everything is right with this Umbra twat. Guess what, evil Nazi mastermind Hell guy… he’s a twat and not on the up and up, I know this shocks everyone, you can’t trust a bad guy to be a good guy, non, non, non, of course you can’t. You should have known better. This mission is once more a single level, however, and I’m so happy to say this, they brought back the proper fucking formula for a mission, there’s no horde bullshit in this, you get a semi-boss fight where you have to fill some blood fountains which are kind of like horde waves but much smaller, easier to deal with, and fucking manageable. Otherwise, this plays out like a proper level and I was HAPPY playing this one, because it was good, and it wasn’t more horde shit in my story. Sadly this STILL hasn’t finished the story of the game, it leads right into another cliffhanger.
Hopefully season pass four will be the last season pass since these season passes are thirty-five dollars EACH. Terminals actually felt like a decent cut off point for the story. That being said, they’re milking this for all it’s worth, it’s only giving dusty dried up milk at this point, the well is dry, no more liquid in these here utters, but they seem to want to keep milking it, so they will. Maybe this set wouldn’t have felt as milked if I had played season pass 2, but again, shit is thirty-five dollars. I’m not exactly made of change let alone real money, so I need to wait for it to be on big xbox sale before I can fiddle with getting it. Now you might be asking, “That’s it, that’s all I’m getting? That’s thirty-five fucking dollars what the hell?” Well no, that’s NOT all your getting. Let me run through everything you get besides these three missions which I’ve already named, and I’m breaking this down into sections for you to make it easier to look at.
There’s three useless headgear packs. The Zombie Headgear Pack which has the following four masks: Bat Creeper, Gunner Elite, Zombie Sniper, and Flamer Elite Masks. The sniper and flamer elite masks are specialized gas masks and the sniper one is actually kinda cool, the other two are oversized mascot heads. The WWII Headgear Pack which has the following four items in it: a medic helmet, a dark blue Nazi helmet with old motorcycle goggles on it, nuclear test goggles which look weird, and the U-boat Captain hat which looks pretty nice. Lastly the Horror Headgear Pack which is just the worst pack, but has the creepiest fucking mascot head of all the packs, it has the following four oversized mascot masks: Dollface, Sack Head, Zombie Skull, and Zombie Skin Masks. The Dollface mask, is the creepiest fucking mask not just out of this lot of masks, but out of all the sets for each season pass. You get a few decent items and a bunch of oversized mascot heads effectively, I don’t like the mascot heads, they’re big and ugly to me.
You also get two useless charm packs, and when I say useless, these are little tiny charms you can equip to your weapons like a phone strap charm, in game I’m not even sure it’s possible to SEE these things. The Zombie Charm Pack has the following four charms in it: Zombie Grunt Head, Zombie Armour Piece which is a shoulder armor piece like you’d see on an Armoured Giant in the main game, Zombie Tank Heart which is just a standard heart, and the Zombie Shark Tooth which looks kinda cool. The Horror Charm Pack 2 has a Chainsaw, Creepy Clown Horn, Hammer and Stake, and Gold Hexagram which looks kinda cool. Some of these look cool, some don’t, to me anyways, but regardless you can’t actively see them while playing the game, the’re there but they’re fucking small.
You are granted three different sets of standard game weapon skins, sadly none of these seem to give you extra skins for all the DLC weapons which is a fucking shame. The first is the Elemental Weapon Skins, which gives each of the main guns a makeover based on the type of damage that gun does when upgraded, some weapons do electric damage naturally in game, with this those guns get a god awful fucking bright blue skin to them, some upgrade to explosive damage naturally, and they get these bright fucking yellow atrocities of a skin put on them and that right there is half the guns already. Thankfully the other half of the guns look much better, the two guns that naturally get the holy attribute get this interesting white circular design on their barrels, like it has some angel halos painted on them, and the last set of guns are able to set people on fire so they get this beautiful red on black skin the red is deep and dark with some lighter red mixed in, on black bodies and they’re actually really beautiful skins. The next is the Tank Weapon Skins, these all look like the enemy tanks do, so they’re all this black but there are seems in it that look like the weapon is coming apart some and like the inside of the gun is made of biomass just like the tanks, these are some of the best skins out of all the packs honestly. The last one is the Van Hellsing Weapon Skins, all the guns in this have handles and wood shaded black, the metal is bright silver, and there’s some gold plating on it which ends up looking mostly yellow instead sadly. Not the worst looking pack, but I think it’s a bit gaudy, but I tend to think that about weapons with gold plating on them even in real life, just looks like too much money and not enough common sense to me.
You also get three weapon packs which is just a weapon a couple skins for it and a couple charms. The M1934 Pistol Bundle has said gun which isn’t particularly impressive honestly, a couple ugly skins, one is gold plated and the other is an orange that looks like those big orange nail guns, and the two charms which again useless is a silver eagle and a sheathed dagger. The MP.1940 SMG Bundle, has said SMG again not as good as the main game guns, this is a full on Nazi gun though so you get an ugly bright blue Nazi air force skin, though you do get a very nice looking dark red and black Nazi think tank skin too, the charms you get with this are a stylized Nazi War Eagle charm, and the Irminsul which is another symbol that the Nazis, being Nazis shit all over, took, and fucking twisted just like the swastika. The last one is Flare Gun Weapon Bundle, it has a flare gun, it has decent ammo capacity, but a low clip of 1 bullet per clip. It does however, set enemies on fire, that being said, it’s completely useless. The skins for this is a pirate pistol looking skin which is really pretty, and the other one… *sighs*… is effectively an AMERICA FUCK YEAH! skin. I have nothing else to say about that piece of shit skin. The two charms for this are a firework with the same AMERICA FUCK YEAH! look to it, and a cannon ball, to match the pirate theme.
The last thing you get in the game are some new characters or new character skins. You have helmets you can change out for your characters, however each character can get extra skins as well through packs, which have their characters wear different outfits, sadly the different versions of the characters don’t have different stats but what can you do. The first is the Undercover Marie, Marie is a french resistance fighter and in this outfit she’s sporting a spiffy black Nazi occult uniform. And you know, I’m just going to add this here in case any of you don’t know, the big company Hugo Boss, yeah the company and the original owner Hugo Boss of Hugo Boss, was a Nazi, created the Nazi uniforms, and used slave labor to do it, go ahead and do activist stuff and get that company just removed from existence please. The other skin is the WW1 Josiah Outfit, Josiah is Creole sailor and in this he’s wearing his old British WWI uniform. Sadly this is one of the ugliest outfits, which is a real shame as the extra characters only have the two outfits, their normal and the secondary ones. I was really hoping he’d get like a navy captain outfit or a submarine uniform, or a u-boat uniform, something, instead it’s this yellow-green bile and baby poop yellow-brown outfit with a flak jacket that just isn’t flattering on him at all, a nice navy blue would have been gorgeous on him. But hey one out of two isn’t bad, especially when you consider Josiah’s normal tugboat outfit looks pretty nice on it, like average day wear.
And that Folks is what you get in the season pass, very little actual content in this pack sadly, mostly it’s just a bunch of random ass stuff. I would have liked longer missions I have season pass 1 as well, and it’s missions were more like the standard game missions, they were a little bit shorter usually but it had as many, and they focused on story stuff not just being kept busy constantly with horde crap. If all three of the story DLC were like the last one, I would have been a lot more for it, still would have been annoyed they were all so short but at least then the missions would have been more fun for me. For me in this, I had more fun reading the collectible documents in most of these missions than I did actually PLAYING the missions.
All and all I’m really judging the season pass based on the story stuff as everything else is just bonus cool stuff to have whether it’s good or not. I mean every season pass has about as many outfits, headgear packs, weapon skins, and missions as each other. So for me, the real difference comes down to whether the missions were good or not. I only have the first season pass to compare this to, and honestly between the two… season pass one is a much better price because it has more levels in it, and less horde in the story, and honestly it made more sense overall to the story. Each mission in season pass one connected to each other and flowed well, the flow between the missions in this season pass wasn’t as good. I didn’t fully get why we went from mission seven to mission eight, and I didn’t really get how we were tricked into doing the big bad a favor in mission eight that got us into mission nine when we actively knew the guy was the big bad. As such I can’t suggest it, I didn’t have a lot of fun with this one til the last mission and at that point it was kind of too little, too late. Hopefully season pass four is better because there clearly is going to be a season pass four.
A review copy of the DLC was provided by the devs.
darkmikasonfire does not award Zombie Army 4 Season Pass 3 the Indie Gamer Team Seal of Approval.
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